The Tales of Hans Christian Andersen

The Professor and the Flea - Loppen og Professoren.

1873

There once was a balloonist--that is, a captain of a balloon--who came to a bad end: his balloon ripped and he fell straight to the ground and was smashed. His son, who had been along on the trip, had parachuted down two minutes before the tragedy. That was the young man's good luck. He landed safe and sound, with invaluable experience in ballooning and a great desire to make use of it; but he didn't have a balloon or any money to buy one with. Der var en Luftskipper, ham gik det galt, Ballonen sprak, Manden dumpede og slog sig i Stykker. Sin Dreng havde han to Minuter forud sendt ned med Faldskjærm, det var Drengens Lykke; han blev uskadt og gik om med store Kundskaber til at blive Luftskipper, men han havde ikke Ballon og ikke Midler til at skaffe sig denne.
He had to make a living, so he taught himself how to talk with his stomach; that is called being a ventriloquist. He was young and handsome, and when he had bought new clothes and grown a mustache he had such a noble look that he might have been mistaken for the younger son of a count. All the ladies found him handsome; and one of them so much so that she ran away from home to follow him. They traveled to distant towns and foreign lands, and there he called himself professor, no less would do. Leve maatte han, og saa lagde han sig efter Behændigheds Konster, og at kunne tale med Maven, det kaldes at være Bugtaler. Ung var han og saae godt ud, og da han fik Mundskjæg og kom i gode Klæder, kunde han antages for et Grevebarn. Damerne fandt ham smuk, ja een Jomfru blev saa betagen af hans Deilighed og hans Behændigheds Konst, at hun fulgte med ham til fremmede Byer og Lande; der kaldte han sig Professor, mindre kunde det ikke være.
His greatest desire was still to get a balloon and then ascend into the sky with his wife, but balloons are expensive. Hans stadige Tanke var at faae sig en Luftballon og gaae tilveirs med sin lille Kone, men de havde endnu ikke Midlerne.
"Our day will come," he declared. "De komme!" sagde han.
"I hope it will be soon," said his wife. "Bare de vilde!" sagde hun.
"We can wait; we are young. Now I am a professor. Crumbs are not slices, but they are bread," he said, quoting an old proverb. "Vi ere jo unge Folk! og nu er jeg Professor. Smuler er ogsaa Brød!"
His wife helped him. She sat at the door and sold tickets, which was no fun in the winter when it was cold. She also took part in the act. She climbed into a chest and then vanished. The chest had a double bottom; it was a matter of agility, and was called an optical illusion. Hun hjalp ham trolig, sad ved Døren og solgte Billetter til Forestillingen, og det var en kold Fornøielse om Vinteren. Hun hjalp ham ogsaa i eet Konststykke. Han puttede sin Kone i Bordskuffen, en stor Bordskuffe; der krøb hun ind i Bagskuffen, og saa var hun ikke at see i Forskuffen; det var som en Øienforblændelse.
One evening after the performance, when he opened the false bottom, she wasn't there. He looked everywhere but she was gone. Too much dexterity. She never came back. She had been sorry and now he was sorry. He lost his spirit, couldn't laugh or clown, and then he lost his audience. His earnings went from bad to worse and so did his clothes. At last the only thing he owned was a big flea. He had inherited the animal from his wife and therefore was fond of it. He trained the flea, taught it the art of dexterity: how to present arms and to shoot off a cannon; the latter was very small. Men en Aften da han trak Skuffen ud, var hun ogsaa borte fra ham; hun var ikke i Forskuffen, ikke i Bagskuffen, ikke i hele Huset, ikke at see, ikke at høre. Det var hendes Behændigheds Konst. Hun kom aldrig igjen; hun var kjed af det, og han blev kjed i det, tabte sit gode Humeur, kunde ikke mere lee og gjøre Løier, og saa kom der ingen Folk; Fortjenesten blev daarlig, Klæderne bleve daarlige; han eiede tilsidst kun en stor Loppe, et Arvegods efter Konen, og derfor holdt han saa meget af den. Saa dresserede han den, lærte den Behændigheds Konster, lærte den at præsentere Gevær og skyde en Kanon af, men lille.
The professor was proud of the flea and the flea was proud of himself. After all, he had human blood in his stomach, if not in his veins. He had visited the grand capitals of Europe and performed before kings and queens, at least that was what was printed in the playbill and the newspapers. He knew he was famous and could support a professor--or a whole family if he had had one. Professoren var stolt af Loppen, og den var stolt af sig selv; den havde lært Noget og havde Menneskeblod og været i de største Byer, var blevet seet af Prindser og Prindsesser, havde vundet deres høie Bifald. Det stod trykt i Aviser og paa Plakater. Den vidste, at den var en Berømthed og kunde ernære en Professor, ja en heel Familie.
The flea was proud and famous; and yet, when he and the professor traveled, they always went fourth class--it gets you to your destination just as quickly as first. They had a silent agreement that they would never part; the flea would remain a bachelor and the professor a widower, which amounts to the same thing. Stolt var den og berømt var den, og dog, naar den og Professoren reiste, toge de paa Jernbane fjerde Plads; den kommer ligesaa hurtigt som første. Det var et stiltiende Løfte, at de aldrig vilde skilles ad, aldrig gifte sig, Loppen vilde blive Ungkarl og Professoren Enkemand. Det gaaer lige op.
"A place where one has had a great success one should never revisit," said the professor. He knew human nature and that is not the poorest sort of knowledge. "Hvor man gjør størst Lykke," sagde Professoren, "der skal man ikke komme to Gange!" Han var en Menneskekjender og det er ogsaa en Kundskab.
At last they had traveled in all the civilized parts of the world; only the lands of the savages were left. The professor knew that there were cannibals who ate Christian human beings. But he was not a real Christian and the flea not a human being, so he thought that there was no reason not to go there, and he expected it to be a profitable trip. Tilsidst havde han bereist alle Lande, uden de Vildes Land; og saa vilde han til de Vildes Land; der æde de rigtignok christne Mennesker, vidste Professoren, men han var ikke rigtig Christen og Loppen var ikke rigtig Menneske, saa meente han, at de nok turde reise der og have en god Fortjeneste.
They traveled by steamer and sailing ship. The flea performed and that paid for their passage. At last they came to the land of the savages. De reiste med Dampskib og med Seilskib; Loppen gjorde sine Konster, og saa havde de fri Reise underveis og kom til de Vildes Land.
Here a little princess reigned. She had overthrown her own parents, for though she was only eight years old she had a will of her own and was marvelously charming and naughty. Her regjerede en lille Prindsesse, hun var kun otte Aar, men hun regjerede; hun havde taget Magten fra Fader og Moder, for hun havde en Villie og var saa mageløs yndig og uartig.
As soon as she had seen the flea present arms and shoot off his little cannon, she fell wildly in love with him. As love can make a civilized man into a savage, imagine what it can do to one who is already a savage. She screamed, stamped her feet, and said, "It is him or no one!" Strax, da Loppen præsenterede Gevær og skød Kanonen af, blev hun saa indtaget i Loppen, at hun sagde: "Ham eller Ingen!" Hun blev ganske vild af Kjærlighed og var jo allerede vild iforveien.
"My sweet little sensible girl, we shall have to make him into a human first," said her father. "Søde, lille, fornuftige Barn!" sagde hendes egen Fader, "kunde man først gjøre et Menneske af den!"
"You leave that to me, old man," she answered, and that was not a very nice way to speak to her own father, but she was a savage. "Det lader Du mig om, Gamle!" sagde hun, og det var ikke net sagt af en lille Prindsesse, der taler til sin Fader, men hun var vild.
The professor put the flea in her little hand. Hun satte Loppen paa sin lille Haand.
"Now you are a human being," declared the princess. "You shall reign together with me, but you will have to obey or I shall kill you and eat the professor." "Nu er Du et Menneske, regjerende med mig; men Du skal gjøre hvad jeg vil, ellers slaaer jeg Dig ihjel og spiser Professoren."
The professor got a room for himself. The walls were made of sugar cane; if he had had a sweet tooth, he could have licked them; but he didn't. He got a hammock for a bed, and lying in that was almost like being in the balloon he still dreamed about. Professoren fik en stor Sal at boe i. Væggene vare af Sukkerrør, dem kunde han gaae og slikke, men han var ikke Slikmund. Han fik en Hængekoie at sove i, det var, som laae han i en Luftballon, den han altid havde ønsket sig, og som var hans stadige Tanke.
The flea stayed with the princess, sat on her hand and on her sweet neck. She pulled a long hair out of her head and made the professor tie one end around the leg of the flea; the other end was fastened to her coral earring. Loppen blev hos Prindsessen, sad paa hendes lille Haand og paa hendes fine Hals. Hun havde taget et Haar af sit Hoved, det maatte Professoren binde Loppen om Benet, og saa holdt hun den bunden til det store Koralstykke, hun havde i Øreflippen.
The princess was happy, and she thought that if she was happy, then the flea ought to be happy too. But the one who was not happy was the professor. He was used to traveling, sleeping one night in one town and the next in another. He loved reading in the newspaper about himself, how clever he was at teaching a flea human accomplishments; but there were no newspapers among the savages. Day after day he lay in his hammock, lazy and idle. He was well fed. He was given fresh birds' eggs, stewed elephants' eyes, and roasted leg of giraffe, for the cannibals did not eat human flesh every day, it was a delicacy. "A child's shoulder in a spicy gravy with peppers is the most delicious dish there is," claimed the princess. Hvor det var en deilig Tid for Prindsessen, ogsaa for Loppen tænkte hun; men Professoren fandt sig ikke tilfreds, han var Reisemand, holdt af at drage fra By til By, læse i Aviserne om sin Udholdenhed og Kløgt i at lære en Loppe al menneskelig Gjerning. Dag ud og ind laae han i Hængekoien, dovnede og fik sin gode Føde: friske Fugle-Æg, Elephant-Øine og stegte Giraffe-Laar; Menneskeæderne leve ikke kun af Menneskekj'd, det er en Delicatesse; "Barne-Skulder med skarp Sauce," sagde Prindsessemoderen, "er det meest delicate."
The professor was bored. He wanted to leave the land of the savages but he had to take the flea along; it was his protege and the supplier of his daily bread. Professoren kjedede sig og vilde gjerne bort fra de Vildes Land, men Loppen maatte han have med, den var hans Vidunder og Levebrød. Hvorledes skulde han fange og faae den. Det var ikke saa let.
He strained his power of thought as much as he could, and then he jumped out of the hammock and exclaimed, "I've got it!" Han anspændte alle sine Tanke-Evner og saa sagde han: "nu har jeg det!"
He went to the princess' father and said, "Please allow me to work. I want to introduce your people to what we, in the great world, call culture." "Prindsesse-Fader: forund mig Noget at bestille! Maa jeg indøve Landets Beboere i at præsentere, det er det man i Verdens største Lande kalder Dannelse!"
"And what can you teach me?" asked the father of the princess. "Og hvad kan Du lære mig!" spurgte Prindsesse-Faderen.
"My greatest accomplishment," answered the professor, "is a cannon which when fired makes such a bang that the earth trembles and all the birds in the air fall down roasted and ready to eat." "Min største Konst," sagde Professoren, "at fyre en Kanon af saa hele Jorden bæver, og alle Himlens lækkreste Fugle falde stegte ned! Det er der Knald ved!"
"Bring on that cannon," said the king. "Kom med Kanonen!" sagde Prindsesse-Faderen.
But the only cannon in the whole country was the little one the flea could fire, and that was much too small. Men i hele Landet var der ingen Kanon, uden den Loppen havde bragt, og den var for lille.
"I will make a bigger one," said the professor. "I need lots of silk material, ropes, strings, needles, and thread. Besides some oil of camphor, which is good against airsickness." "Jeg støber en større!" sagde Professoren. "Giv mig bare Midlerne! Jeg maa have fiint Silketøi, Naal og Traad, Toug og Snore, samt Mavedraaber for Luftballoner, de blæse op, lette og løfte; de give Knaldet i Kanon-Maven."
All that he asked for, he got. Alt hvad han forlangte fik han.
Not until he was finished and the balloon was ready to be filled with hot air and sent up did he call the people together to see his cannon. Hele Landet kom sammen for at see den store Kanon. Professoren kaldte ikke, før han havde Ballonen heel færdig til at fylde og gaae op.
The flea was sitting on the princess' hand, watching the balloon being blown up. And the balloon stretched itself and grew fatter and swelled. It was so wild it was difficult to hold. Loppen sad paa Prindsessens Haand og saae til. Ballonen blev fyldt, den bovnede og kunde neppe holdes, saa vild var den.
"I have to take the cannon up in the air to cool it off. Alone, I cannot manage it, I have to have someone who knows something about cannons along to help me, and here only the flea will do." "Jeg maa have den tilveirs, at den kan blive afkølet;" sagde Professoren og satte sig i Kurven, der hang under den. "Ene kan jeg ikke magte at styre den. Jeg maa have en kyndig Kammerat med, for at hjelpe mig. Her er Ingen der kan det uden Loppen!"
"I hate giving him permission to go," said the princess as she held out the flea to the professor, who took it on his hand. "Jeg tillader det nødig!" sagde Prindsessen, men rakte dog Loppen til Professoren, som satte den paa sin Haand.
"Let go of the ropes, up goes the balloon!" he cried. "Slip Snorer og Toug!" sagde han. "Nu gaaer Ballonen!"
The savages thought he said "up goes the cannon," De troede han sagde: "Kanonen!"
and the balloon rose up into the air above the clouds and flew away from the land of the savages. Og saa gik Ballonen høiere og høiere, op over Skyerne, bort fra de Vildes Land.
The little princess, her father and her mother, and all their people stood and waited. They are waiting still and if you don't believe me you can travel to the land of the savages. Every child there will tell you the story of the flea and the professor. They are expecting him back as soon as the "cannon" has cooled off. But he will never return, he is back home. When he travels on the railroad he always goes first class, not fourth. He has done well for himself, with the help of the balloon, and nobody asks him where or how he got it. The flea and the professor are wealthy and respectable, and that kind of people are never asked embarrassing questions. Den lille Prindsesse, hendes Fader og Moder, hele Folket med stod og ventede. De vente endnu, og troer Du det ikke, saa reis til de Vildes Land, der taler hvert Barn om Loppen og Professoren, troer at de komme igjen, naar Kanonen er kølet af, men de komme ikke, de ere hjemme hos os, de ere i deres Fædreland, kjøre paa Jernbane, første Plads, ikke fjerde; de have god Fortjeneste, stor Ballon. Ingen spørger, hvorledes de have faaet Ballonen eller hvorfra de have den, de ere holdne Folk, hædrede Folk, Loppen og Professoren.

Copyright Anchor Books Doubleday
Hans Christian Andersen:
The Complete Fairy Tales and Stories

Translated from Danish by Erik Christian Haugaard

Copyright:
The Hans Christian Andersen Project